Dating someone who has been to prison
Be sure your relationship is two-way. Then he told me that he recently got out of prison for armed robbery. People who have more support and connections tend to do better upon release, giving you and your relationship one less struggle to manage. Most people in jail only learn how to become better criminals.
They can empathize with difficulties as they arise and can be leaned on for advice, especially regarding the lopsided, seemingly one-way aspects that come up. Women who like to take care of men, will find all the good in people who have done very bad things, and celebrate that good. There are people who mess up, go to jail, and become rehabilitated. Perhaps those names are your competition. There are some cases where you should just run.
Eric Menendez, one of the Menendez brothers who is on death row, met his fiance as a pen pal who wrote him in jail. These are two drastically different situations, each revealing different character traits. Paranoid, and seeing the world as a bad place, women who find romance with men on death row, receive confirmation in these relationships that they are victims, as are their big house partners. There are scammers and those with a limited capacity to truly know others on a deeper level.
And then, you have to let them be who they are. While we want to believe in the best for everyone, not every person is able to be rehabilitated. The same way you are looking for love, others are as well. Ask not only about their conviction but about the circumstances that led up to their choice. No one looks down at their smiling baby girl and hopes that one day she will grow up and date a felon.
An inability to be accountable or responsible, combined with poor decision-making, should be further clues. You will have lots of choices after you tell them, depending on what their reactions are.
He doesn't seem like that type, but you never know. Give yourself a minimum of three or more months to get to know this person. There are people who do go to jail wrongly. Always run a full criminal background check no matter what they say. It could be as simple as faking fashion sense and style.
However, the majority of black men are not criminals. Some want other things though, temporary situations with exclusive benefits to them. This is about knowing yourself and your motives honestly.
Phone conversations and erotic letter writing are ways to gauge if a spark exists. Hopefully, these tips help. In here, there is time, more time and then extra time to do most of what you want to do. No matter how mindful you are, there will be challenges. She learned about his criminal past from an acquaintance.
Some families lacked closeness prior to the person coming to prison. In other situations, the separation was a direct correlation to their behaviors. It tells you, in part, what to be mindful of.
Prison rarely rehabilitates anyone. If it is the latter, I would probably advise you to run. One day I asked him why he picked McDonalds and he told me it was the only place that would hire him.
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